“Day- 1,096th, month-37th, year-4th.” Urja reminded herself with despair. Suddenly, she turned around to look at the photograph hung on her wall and within no time, found herself wailing like a child. Her tears felt warm but painful. She felt stuck as if locked inside a dark room without any escape. She looked again at the photograph with her teary eyes and screamed, “I need you, Mumma!”
It’s been three years since Urja had heard her mother’s voice. Her soulful, melting, delightful voice. Urja’s mother had been bedridden since she had a severe heart attack. Even after numerous treatments, medications, prayers, religious vows, spiritual healing techniques, and sleepless nights that Urja spent beside her mother, she had to face the harsh reality that her mother would never be able to make any bodily movements. She would be just a living sculpture carved with her aging marvels: each hair turning white and grim, skin getting more frilled and languid, her eyes growing weak and barren and her body becoming still and calm, at every moment.
Since then, Urja had longed to see her mother the way she was. The soft smile that made her look more beautiful, her innocent giggles while cracking jokes, her glowing tears when she watched a movie, her loving touch when she caressed Urja’s hair to reduce her stress, her stubbornness bloomed out of genuine care when she never allowed Urja to leave the house without having some food, her incredible beauty when she brushed her hair looking in the mirror every morning, her classic elegance that streamed out of her own choices, her authenticity, her fears, her delicate and sweet fragrance, her fierceness and everything that her mother was made up of. Urja was eagerly waiting for all of this. She was eagerly waiting for her mother.
After gathering herself up, she stood in front of the photograph. She saw her mother looking at her with extreme love while Urja, being a child, had held her mother’s hand tightly. She vividly remembered the moment when that picture was clicked. It was 20 years ago on her 10th birthday. She remembered being cranky for clicking pictures because she wanted to open her birthday presents first. Just then, she was put in her mother’s lap and saw her blinking softly. Suddenly, Urja smiled at the camera. And why not? After all, she was extremely fond of her mother since childhood. Her mother was her favorite. She was her faith and her only power.
And today, as Urja could see her grown reflection in the framed photograph, she could also see her mother’s unbelievable charm. She could feel that her heart was still pumping with hope, at every moment. She could feel the warmth of care that her mother still had for her. The beauty that still resided in every cell of her body. And somehow, she was filled with a miraculous energy. It was unmatchable. It was so much greater than the grief that she had been carrying. It was a pure form of love. Nearly, a magical love. And with this innate belief to see her mother get cured someday, she wiped her tears and smiled.
That day, Urja got ready for work with extreme joy, after a long time. After all, her eternal faith had got a new face with a delightful gleam. “I am going to see my mother smile.” She affirmed herself with strength. As Urja rushed to work, she forgot to put on her helmet while driving the bike. And her misfortune also came across, on the same day. She met with a serious accident and was admitted to the hospital. Her condition became critical in no time. The doctors had to announce that her chances to survive were less. Her family members immediately rushed to the hospital and constantly clung to her side. The operation and treatment took place immediately but Urja showed no signs of recovery. She was placed on a ventilator and doctors constantly said, “Let’s wait.” Days passed by and yet her condition was not restored.
But on the day, her mother was brought to the hospital, Urja regained consciousness. Her family members jumped with joy and celebrated her slight improvement with applause. “See? Her mother is the only cure. After all, she gives her the ‘urja’ (energy) to survive.” They said while brimming with happiness.
The hails echoed in Urja’s ears while her vision captured blur images of people hugging one another. When she finally had a sense of being alive, her eyes searched for only one person. And when she saw her mother sitting still beside her, staring blankly at the wall, tears rushed down her cheeks and touched the scars and stitches on her face. She started breathing heavily and her wounds caused excruciating pain. Her body ached severely and her brain felt immensely burdened. She could not tolerate the suffering any longer. She kept looking at her mother and whispered in a broken voice, “Mumma, I..I..wa..I want to go, Mumma!”
Just then, Urja saw that her mother’s eyes made a slight movement. She saw her mother blinking, softly. And at that moment, without any effort, Urja stopped breathing. She blew away all her pains and fears. Her body went cold and numb. She was free from every moment of sadness, every wrecked piece of her soul, and every stitched part of her own body. Her lips ceased to move. Her lifeless eyes were stuck on her mother, who was still staring blankly at the wall. Maybe their love had released her. Maybe, her soul was put in her mother’s lap and it smiled, just like in the photograph. Maybe, she was no more tolerating the grief or enslaved with hope. Maybe, her faith had been restored and her wait was finally over.
